its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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