ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Randomize
