its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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