don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
