It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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