you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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