There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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