I just saw a hot homeless man
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
