why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
