This dress was meant to end up on your floor
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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