I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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