i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
