just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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