I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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