Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
