I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
