do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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