im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
