I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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