SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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