He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
