we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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