OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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