Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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