in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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