Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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