my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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