No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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