Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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