This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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