just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
