She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
