my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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