Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize