she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I need a burrito and a hug.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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