I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
