at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
