I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My Higher Power is John Stamos
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Lo siento on account of my penis...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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