I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Randomize
