living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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