the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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