Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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