How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize