WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think your dad took our porno
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
