The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
