wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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