If i come over, it means nothing
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
