High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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