ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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