I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
