Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
