He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
