Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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