so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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