sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
