guys are not supposed to queef...right?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
