i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
