This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
