my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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