Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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