So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
