Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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