Porn is love you can see.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
